Dear Gosselin Kids,

I truly feel so awful for you. You poor poor children. Not only do you have to share genes with Katezilla and Dirtbag Jon, but for the resssst of your life, you are going to end up in TMZ mag and US weekly. Its not your fault that Jon is attracted to slutty hoes, nor is it your fault that your mother has a few chemical issues that she needs resolved in therapy. So if i were you, I'd pack up your blankies and dollies and head out to the nearest road.. I think that hitchhiking your way to a new life would be the best outcome to this situation. Or, in a few years you could drive yourself over to the invitro specialist and give him a piece of your mind for allowing your parents to produce children. That could work too.

Bless your little hearts,
-Me

P.S. if your daddy marries that hoebag hailey, I would advise you to hire a hitman.


P.S. again, i hate you madi and i think that you caused the divorce. devil child.