Sunday, January 30, 2011

Dear Arizona Man,

I rofled when i read your news story on ksl.
"I was going to overdose on heroin and then be bear food"
hahahahha. shoot up heroin.. then go out like a champ in yellowstone huh?
hmm. well, this is only ok since youre a convicted runaway murderer.
I'll help drench you in honey?


Saturday, January 8, 2011

Dear 2011,

Please be good to me. Please send me to Europe or another awesome country... and get me a STELLAR paying job and please send me lots of money so i can pay for school and maybe a shirt or two. Let me get SUPER tan in the summer so I can go back to Hawaii and fit in with the natives. Teach me how to be crafty, 2011, so i can feel accomplished and domestic. Also, please make my committment issues go away, and magically make my decision making powers appear, because 2010 was full of wishy-washiness. I plan to come back to you in 2012, and i hope you have bestowed upon me at least 3 of these things, if i'm good. Thanks 2011.


PS you could throw in a DSLR i've been wanting for 5 years but dont have the guts to buy it.

PS again, if i don't lose 20 pounds, i'm swearing you off and don't ever expect to get a letter from me again.