Dear Miley,

I liked you better when you wore that wig on the disney channel, and still had a very noticable "ish" shpeech impediment.
Why have you gone down the road to Sluttymcslutville?
You pole danced at the teen choice awards. yikes. You walk around in brittany-attire. (pre mid-twenties crisis, of course)
And Billy Ray? I wish you could say you are breaking his achy breaky heart with shaming yourself publicly, because that would be just.. well.. plain witty! but no. You get a standing ovation from daddy when you pull stunts like that on national television. Personally, I think someone should call child services on that situation.

And so it begins. You go down the slipperly slide of stardom in hollywood. I'll be looking for your future appearance on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew someday.

Cheers,
-Me

P.S. As for your best friend Leslie? Poor girl...
You're just bein' Miley!