Dear Cheetah Woods,

Ah, you my friend have joined the DBAC! (Douche-Bags of America Club) Welcome! Your fellow members are:
-Jon Gosselin: President
-Jude Law: VP
-Usher: Treasurer
-A-rod: Secretary
-Spencer Pratt: Honorary Member
..and MANY more! So, welcome to the clan, good luck running away from the press till you are old and gray. Serves you right, sir..your career is over.

-Me