Dear Prince Charming,

I think its around that time where you should show up in my life.
I appreciate you holding out on me, its kept me on my toes.
But seriously, ya wanna pick it up a little?
I'M ONLY YOUNG FOR SO LONG!!!!!
Bump into me at a restaurant or something.
Hold the door for me somewhere.
I DONT CARE.
just show up.
thanks sweetie!


Always Yours,
-Me

Dear Sophomore Year,

Thanks for all the idiot boyfriends you gave me.
And thanks for making me gain the freshman 15 back.
You're a real gem, you know that?

Pissed,
-Me

Dear Nadeene,

hello little fat girl that lives inside me.

i hate that you stay around for weeks at a time when the semester is coming to an end. you just love to ruin my life around finals time, don't you? as if calculating numbers in my stats class wasn't enough, you just make me weigh myself alllllll the time to figure out how many 20 pound infants i'll have to lose before our next encounter where you'll ruin my life once more. at least stop making me visit the aggie quickstop in between classes for a sugar load-up!?!? frick. you're the worst.
a worthy opponent, you are.


hate hate hate loath entirely,
-me

Dear Girl,

I hope that somehow, someway and someday soon you recieve this letter. because trust me, in a few weeks you'd have wished that you had read it. I just wanted to inform you....
HE IS A MAN-HO AND IS GOING TO BREAK YOUR HEART SO RUN WHILE YOU CAN BEFORE HE PUTS HIS SPELL ON YOU, YOU SILLY GIRL! he only wants to kiss you. its not like he wants to be your boyfriend or anything. and if he says he wants to be your boyfriend, he is lying. lets be real. the only girlfriend he has is his boyfriend that looks back at him in the mirror everyday with that blue collared hollister shirt on. sweetheart, hes a player with a capital D for douche.

trust. me. on. this. one, okay blondie? i've been there done that! its just a matter of time my friend. hes a COWBOY CASANOVA. he's a devil in disguise. a snake with blue eyes, if you will. and he only comes out at night.

you better run for your life,
-Me

p.s... thanks carrie underwood for your inspiring words of wisdom.

Dear Homie,

I do not appreciate being called out infront of large groups of people when I am innocently keeping to myself and walking to class, minding my own business.
I especially do not like having attention brought to me by someone shouting rather loudly, the classy phrase:
"hey yo girl!"

And most of all, I think that a boy of your pasty complexion and miniscule stature has no place even uttering those words.
If you're gonna act like a G, at least be taller and older than Justin Beiber.

Thanks,
-Me

Dear Ricky Martin,

I hate to break this news to you, but everyone already knew you were gay.
Way to come out Ricky boy, but i mean... if your tight shirts and leather pants weren't enough, 'Livin la Vida Loca' sure opened up that closet you were hiding in.
All of our gaydars have definitely been pointing to you for the past 10 years.

Godspeed,
-Me

Dear Marriage Fairy,

Quit stealing my friends.
I know you mean well, but you are breaking my haaaaaahhhrrrtt.
Quit droppin diamonds like it aint no thing.
Or least take a few years off. Go on a vacay. Go crazy.
Over and Out.

Peace and Blessings,
-Me

Dear Bus Driver,

Oh, you again. Not only did we smile at eachother today, but we both asked how the other one was at the exact same time, so an absolutely adorable awkwardness radiated from the aggie shuttle. Ahhhh. Love.

Creepily,
Me

Dear USU students,

Hello. You know our awesome library? The good ol Merrill-Cazier? Yeah. That place.
Well, if you didn't know, that place is a place of studying. And quiet. And books. And cozy homework spots. And occasional facebook/drink/bathroom breaks.
However, it is NOT a place for making out, sitting on eachothers laps inappropriately, or youtubing Lion King videos.

That is all.

Maturely,
-Me

Dear Monday/Wednesday Bus driver,

Thanks for being so friendly today when i got up enough courage to say a few more words than just 'hi'.
You are adorable.
And maybe next time our conversation will be like.. 2 or 3 sentences? yahtzee!

I'm shooting for the moon,
-Me