Dear Cheetah Woods,

Ah, you my friend have joined the DBAC! (Douche-Bags of America Club) Welcome! Your fellow members are:
-Jon Gosselin: President
-Jude Law: VP
-Usher: Treasurer
-A-rod: Secretary
-Spencer Pratt: Honorary Member
..and MANY more! So, welcome to the clan, good luck running away from the press till you are old and gray. Serves you right, sir..your career is over.

-Me

Dear Kobe,

Thanks for being sick tonight so the jazz could hold out on the 12 game winning streak in the energy solutions arena. Sort of sucky that without you, your team is crap.. but..hey thanks for the good times. And, paying off the refs to call crap calls STILL didn't make us lose. Sorry.

I hope you didn't catch Aids... but i wouldn't be surprised if you did. Thats all.

Respectfully
-Me

Dear Creepy Boy,

Quit 'accidentally' showing up at places that i just so happen to be at. You freak me out, and so does your flesh-colored goatee.

And you ate the relief society treats in sunday school and that bothered me. Bye.

Keeping my distance,
-Me

dear loved,

i feel like words aren't enough to comfort you. i wish there was an explanation and i wish that your hurt would go away and i wish there were more definite answers to these sorts of things. i hope that if anything my prayers will be answered and that you will feel hope and the burdens will be lifted off your shoulders. we had a great lesson in sunday school about families being together forever and i know that its all truth. know you are loved and know that the ones you lost are eternally loved by our Heavenly Father.

-Me